We are all mistakes

We are all just mistakes

And sins that haven’t been forgiven

So we try to make heaven

Out of hell

Passing ‘round the blame

Until we forget the transgressions

Against us.

We are nothing close to hope.

Take a breath and a drink,

Pray to whichever god you believe in

To save you from the nightmare

That you can not wake up from.

So put the drugs into your bloodstream

And shudder all responsibility to a stop.

Fall asleep to public television

Selling you a diluted version of truth.

Our love is never free,

We always pay a price for learning the truth

About the ones we truly care about.

It's ok to cry

People will come and go into your life.

Be grateful for what they do for you, forgive them for how they hurt you and regardless of how your relationship continues, remember everything for what it was worth.

I finally understand the importance of tears, as I told someone today, “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to break down. It’s important to do so in fact, so go, do, cry if you have to, but once you’re done, move forward.”

It is okay to be sad, don’t let society put a stigma on your emotions.

But it is just as important to get out of bed each day and put your best foot forward.

it was then...

But then I met a star,
the brightest one of all.
When I got too close
it burnt a hole
straight through me.
It was then,
the beginning.

every move

i find people so incredibly fascinating.

i like observing their every move. you can learn a lot just by observing. simple movements can show their personality and their mood..

i like the little smirk when somebody laughs and they're tying not to. i like when people bring their hands up to their face, whether its because they're sad or embarrassed. i like how people walk, and the way they turn their head back to see where they've been or who's behind them. i like the way people's faces light up when they are told something positive and how they drop when they are told something negative. i like it when people cry and look down at their hands, and then look up at you through the haze of their eyes and you can see them drowning.

i like how easy it is to tell how a person is feeling by what they are doing,
yet its so difficult at the same time.

adjustments

I’m certain now that there are a few demons left inside of me.

some kind of wound that hasn’t fully healed. some kind of trauma that I haven’t quite recovered.

It’s beginning to creep back into my life in the worst of ways. I’m not perfect, and while I often try to be as flawless as possible, it is an impossible feat.

So I can sit here and make excuses for myself, or I can make adjustments and move forward.

Look around you

To love.
To be loved.
To never forget your own insignificance.

To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you.

To seek joy in the saddest places.
To pursue beauty to its fullest.
To never simplify what is complicated,
or complicate what is simple.
To respect strength, never power.

Above all...
To watch.
To try and understand.
To never look away.

And never, never to forget.

a mess

I am tired...

A mess of methodical ways

that tie up every thought

that ever occurs.

choices.

Do you ever think about all the people who you might have fallen in love with if only you’d taken a different way home or stood a little longer in bread isle at the store?

All the people who might have been an integral part of your life but instead you’ll never know them. The unimaginable impact that our mundane choices have on our lives really gets to me.

Think of how many times I might have died if I’d made different choices.

Maybe I’d be homeless.
Maybe I’d be famous.
Maybe I’d be rich.

Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by the impact of my choices that I can’t choose anything at all because I’m afraid today will be the day that I make the choice that changes everything.”

hold me

hold me against your chest

till the chaos of the world disappears

till all that I can hear is

the beat of your heart & mine

blind

We are blind. Every single one of us.

And the only light guiding us through,

comes from all the bridges we burn...

Whisper

You can tell me to stop talking,

and I probably wont,

but if you tell

me mouth is extremely beautiful

when my lips are closed,

you won't her another sound

from these lips.

Past, present or future

I’ve always loved listening to people refer to themselves.

If you watch close enough, they tend to speak of themselves mostly in the past, present or future. Always saying things like "I went to the bar last night" and "I played basketball when I was in highschool" and it is so different from saying things like "I’m tired" or "I want chocolate." And it’s even different from saying things like "I’m going shopping tomorrow" and "I can’t wait until my birthday."

It’s all about where people see themselves.

If you’re nostalgic and miss things about the past, it’s going to come out in the way you speak.

What’s even more fascinating is listening to people describe themselves. Saying things like "I play piano", compared to "I’m artistic" says a lot about a person’s personality.

It’s funny but sometimes if the world is watching close enough, it often knows you better than you know yourself.

simply complicated

i am the most low maintenance, non-materialistic, cheapest person.

but im high maintenance as fuck about being treated respectfully, like a sentient, autonomous human being who needs care and consideration, and not being taken for granted.

i can't stand for anything less.

its simple as fuck, yet so complicated for most people.

The little big things

Love isn't just about three little words or expensive gifts.

Love is about the little big things.

Love is about the grand gestures. Love is about airplanes pulling banners over stadiums, proposals on jumbo-trons, giant words in sky writing. Hand written letters. Kissing at stoplights. Love is about turning around and going back to tell someone you love them one extra time...

Love is about going that extra mile even if it hurts, letting it all hang out there. Love is about finding courage inside of you that you didn't even know was there. Love is all about the little big things. That's what really counts.

in your blood

I’ll write poetry

on your arms

so the words

can sink into

your veins

and never

leave your blood.

maybe then

one day

the lyrics

will drip

from your

fingertips,

and you

can do the same

for someone else...

stop

“You’re beautiful.” I whispered.
“Stop."

“Stop what?” I asked.
“Saying I’m beautiful.”
“Why? it’s the truth..”

“It’s not. You don’t see me at the end of the day. You don’t see me trying to find the perfect outfit. You don’t see me in the mirror, so don’t you dare say I’m beautiful because I’m not.” 


I shook my head, almost laughing. 
“You don’t fucking get it do you? You have no idea what you look like. You’re right, I don’t see you the way you see you...but, you also don’t see the way I see you. You don’t see how you laugh, or the way you tell a story, you don’t see the way your eyes light up when you talk about all the songs you love. You don’t see yourself asleep in my arms, or the way you look when you wake up. But I do, and that’s why I have every right to call you beautiful.”

without these...

without nature
i wouldn’t know beauty

without your smile
i wouldn’t know purity

without my friends
i would be lonely

without the sun rising each day
i wouldn’t know loyalty

without my fucked up twisted thoughts
i wouldn’t write poetry

and without you
i’d probably go crazy...

broken

We are all a little broken
or deeply shattered inside,
and I find that to be
the beauty of vulnerability,
like how the stars cannot shine
without the darkness.

Words

Words...
In the right hands, manipulated correctly, they take you prisoner, wrapping themselves around your mind like spider silk. And when you are so mesmerized that you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their magic...

something

Something, in the way you say "I love you", such a short chain of sounds, but when they come from your throat they seem to crush space and time, collapse entire universes, shuffle realities, your lips brushing on my neck, your words not three little syllables but all the heavenly language you’d need to whisper what you’d like to do to me, all you’d like to touch and taste, all the places you’d like to get lost into.

It is difficult to say, exactly, what it is...

All I know is that if you ever, were to use your voice to ask, there would be nothing I would deny you.

It hurts

Silence.
It's the most powerful scream.
A source of great strength.

Silence.
It is not the absence of something, but the presence of everything.

Meteors stop when the silence has fallen. So quiet, you can hear the sound of dust settling on the furniture.

The silence.
So loud it hurts.

The silence...

It's deafening.

catch 22

long weeks.
weeks that go on and on.
or at least seem to.

people.
all kinds of people.
insensitive.
joyful.
hurtful.
compassionate.
funny.
awkward.

they make up your life.
you just want to run.
run so fast that no one will notice.

notice that you’re not a stereotype.
you want to be more than that.
but at some point people will notice and care.

they’ll see a void of light around them. they’ll wonder where you are.
they’ll search the skies and the heavens.
the maps and the country.
just because they won’t believe it.

they’ll care so much it will hurt you.
and you’ll come back.
you’ll be so loved.
but only for a moment.
then like a repetitive cycle,
it'll go back to the way things were.

It always does.

they will hurt you.
they will love you.
a catch 22.
but that’s the way it has to be.

because we all live in this world together.
we’re not prisoners.
we are just filling the voids in people’s lives to keep them sane.

just breathe...

Everything you know has been taught to you by someone, or something throughout your whole life.

Ever since you first opened your eyes in this world they start teaching you to speak, to act, to crawl, to walk.

You learn from everything around you. Growing up you learn the manners, the morals, the rights and the wrongs. They tell you, they teach you, and then somewhere along the way, life takes over.

Life teaches you that most of the things you have learned can never really be applied to the world you live in.

Life teaches you about broken hearts and pain, of sleepless nights and vulnerability, about letting go and moving on. And they every once in awhile you learn things from books and movies, friends and strangers you barely know.

You learn, always learn, to have a better understanding of the world around, of yourself.

But sometimes, everything becomes too much to take in, too much to bare. And you fall into that place, that phase that you can’t seem to get out from.

So when you are there and feel low, do the only thing that no one had taught you to do, the thing you have been doing since you were born...

Just breathe.
Just close your eyes and breathe...

you...

people always talk about the special place in their hearts they have for the ones they love,

but you....

you are in my bloodstream,
you inhabit every single part of me.

no matter how much time or distance is put between us, i could never ever forget someone who has given me so much to remember.

for that i thank you.