repeat.

i want to put today on repeat.

i want to wake up

to the sun in my window

i want to go to the little coffee shops downtown and eat chocolates

and sip on lattes.

i want to buy raspberry jam from a little old farm lady who appreciates it.

i want to wear boots and cute summer scarves, watch little girls with their hair in pigtails twirl around like ballerinas, smiling and giggling without a care in the world.

i want to walk through the streets, carefree, stopping at antique shops and buying random gifts.

i want to clap for the black man playing guitar and singing on the curb, and throw pennies in his case, knowing i made his day a little bit brighter.

i want to walk these streets again and again with freedom in my pockets and a smile on my face because today, was a good day.

decisions

They say that time decides who you meet in your life. 
The heart decides who you want in your life. 
And your behavior decides who will stay in your life.
All we have is time now baby.
And I own the beat of your heart,
So now you need to straighten the fuck up. 

even when you're falling

"What was different this time?" you asked. 

"You see, you closed your eyes--That was the difference." I whispered. 

Sometimes you can't believe what you see,
you have to only believe what you feel.

And honestly, if you are ever going to have other people trust you,
you have to feel that you can trust them, too—even when you’re in the dark.

Even when you’re falling.

surrender

That girl...

Yeah, you know the one. 

The one who

will teach you

how to surrender,

and kiss hearts

instead of lips.

Beware of that girl. 

those people

The best kind of people are the ones that come into your life, 
and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. 
The people that believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. 
The people that love you, simply for being you. 
The once in a lifetime kind of people.

the heart

The heart always wins out over the mind. 

The heart, 

although reckless and suicidal 

and a masochist all on its own, 

always gets its way.

 

stay or leave

Aww, ok I'll try and play nice.

I'm not the sweetest kind.

I'm not all sugar and spice.

Don't worry,

you can trust me baby,

but never my fucked up mind.

I write things you shouldn’t read,

that's just the way it is

That's the only way I can bleed.

So be ready

to drown in my darkness,

you can stay

or you can just leave.

round and round

She throws up her hands,

time and time again,

so you'll bring the chaos

and BS to an end. 

just for today

just for tonight. 

a stop to the arguing

a stop to the fight. 

It's always a cycle,

it goes round and round. 

Don't worry sweetheart,

she'll always cease to your relentless struggle
when you have her pinned to the ground.  

See, her emotions are wearing out,

then loneliness sets in. 

She can't help but stop

give up,

fuck it...

give in.   

But that's ok my dear. 

There will always be another

to take your place,

to love her,

and calm her fear.

nothing

This bullshit revolution  

will accomplish nothing

my dear. 

You will remain 

angry and ignorant. 

The powers above you 

will still not give a shit,

and neither will I.  

You will accomplish more 

by finishing your beer 

and that pack of cigs,

than any number of burnt doors,

smashed windows, 

and screamed assumptions

could dream of. 

You are owed 

Nothing. 

You deserve 

Nothing.

You have earned 

Nothing.

This bullshit revolution..?

Yeah. 

It will accomplish nothing.  

So chill the fuck out,

and for Christ's sake,

smarten the fuck up.

someday

The earth

wears life

like a perfume.

Someday,

we’ll all be

distant memories

on a passing breeze...

That moment...

Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, “Damn, I really fucking love you”. 

They’re just talking or humming or watching a movie or reading a book or laughing, and there’s something about them in that moment—their body is alive, there’s a light in their eyes, and something—that makes you think, “I just really fucking love you.”

It’s weird how this just hits you, but it’s pretty damn awesome that we can feel this way about another being.

Happiness

A lot people think happiness is about gaining something. 

But it's not...

It's all about getting rid of the darkness you accumulate. 

souls

When two souls fall in love, you don't want anything else except to be close to the other soul. The presence that is felt through holding their hand, hearing their voice or watching them smile and being happy is breath taking.

Souls do not have calendars or clocks, and they don't understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another, and that's it.

That's all your soul strives for.

This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are gone...

many colors

There are people in this world that will change our perceptions

They will redefine our definitions of love and hatred

Some will make us cry rivers of tears

Some will make us smile while they're here and long after they're gone 

From the minute we take our first breath until the minute we take our last, our lives will show us many colors

Ones that compliment and ones that offend

Although we will receive wounds and burns, they can heal if nurtured

We all have a limited amount of sand in the hour glass

We must give each grain a pleasant memory

So when the last one falls you can look death in the eyes and say

“I lived and it was beautiful...”

the cure

They laid in silence.

Soft morning sun rays beaming through the bedroom curtains.

"Talk to me and iron out my wrinkled thoughts" she said, "and whisper songs in my ear without moving your lips."

There was a long silence...

She leaned closer and whispered, "You may think I am your salvation love, but you are more to me than I will ever be to you. You are my medication, my narcotic, in which I demand, in which I crave, because I miss you so fucking bad when you're not around. But, don’t attempt to drink me in, for I am poisonous, and you baby, are the sweet liquid, a tonic for my madness, the cure."

~~~

burying my face in my arms,

i knew i loved you.

and i knew

that the smell of you skin

and charismatic glass exterior

would blind me and kill me

someday.

whispering

This is your life 
and it’s ending 
one minute at 
a time, is what
the clock is
whispering,

This is your heart
and it’s breaking 
one love at a time,
is what the world 
is whispering,

This is you and 
you’re growing 
one lesson at
a time, says
my mind,

and I wonder
which to trust 
and which is
bluffing....

The Giver

The most important thing

anyone has ever given me

was not a gift

or cash or clothes,

or concrete evidence of love. 

What has always meant the most to me, is time. if they are willing to give me this, honestly, I need nothing else.

in my pocket

I trusted you on foggy days when I couldn’t see the road in front

of me. on golden evenings when the sun lingered a little too long. on nights that we brought dawn in with laughter and the scent of warm honey whiskey lingered on your breath,

I remember you so well,

a kaleidoscope of memories,

and even though you hurt me,

left a scar across my heart,

I’ll keep you in my pocket

like a dulled copper coin,

lost its luster long ago

but still, it carries on.