vacant contract

she tells you

that you are the best thing,

and she says it with a grin 
that tastes like bottled beer,

and a whisper that smells like

4am leftover cigarette stench.

it is something sweet,

but something empty.
 

perpetual bond

sometimes,
there’s so much of an amount of love
that you feel towards someone,
that it can never ever, no matter what

be taken away or torn apart.

no matter the situation,

the time,

the silence

or the distance apart...

there are certain people

who you will always,

always love... 

no. matter. what.

equivalent

Someone once told me 
that no sin is greater than another. 
I tried, for exactly thirteen and half hours
to make a lie and a murder equivalent.

distortion

The angry, jealous and broken hearted

will believe just about any lie they’re told,

including the ones they tell themselves....

metamorphosis

There will always,

always be a reason

you meet people. 

Either you need them

to change your life, 
Or you're the one

that will change theirs.

Some will come

and some will go.
But each one you encounter,

will be for a reason.

rebuilt

Your smile undid me,

but baby, your laughter

put me back

together again.

6

Six Word Saturday

You either forgive or you leave.

dead weight

There are some people who are poison. 

Some people are 1,000 lbs of dead weight and shit.

Let them go.

You can still love them,
as they sink down to the lowest levels 
of their personal Hell.

You deserve to be happy too.

not living

I had a friend who woke up every morning
pretending the bags under her eyes
weren’t spent from days of dehydrating herself through her tears.

She worked at a vintage coffee shop and spent her break in the back alley
with a razor blade to her wrists hoping she could feel something
just a little bit stronger than numbness.

I had a friend who drank so many pills
she didn’t wake up one morning.

She was convinced she could live in a state of forever asleep...

in the wind

The way you
moaned,
”Fuck,"
like we were
dying,
like our ribs wouldn’t
know how
to stop shivering
like voices in the wind,
like your
hipbones
would never

leave the soul shaped cup
of my
palms,
makes my smile every time.

I miss you already... 

comfort zone

I sometimes like the feeling
that overcomes me
when I leave my comfort zone.

Why?

I don’t know why.

Maybe it’s the feeling that I’m still alive.
I’m not comfortable, but I’m not dead.

Boundary increased.

I like how we can push our thresholds back
further and further and overcome fear this way.

It reminds me that, while still extremely fragile and delicate,
the human soul can remain rather resilient in the face of adversity.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. 

Promise me...

Soft satin sheets,
 moonbeams glowing through the window,

illuminating our tanned skin.

We laid in the stillness

and watched as the night shadows

danced across the ceiling.

"Do you know how much you mean to me?" you whispered,
your head laying on my chest.

"I think so. I mean, you show me every day."

You rolled over,
touched my face

and looked me in the eyes,

"The way I feel about you, it will never stop baby, 
I love you so much. 
I've never loved someone so much in my life, its crazy. 
You will forever be my everything, 
 and you will always be amazing to me.
 I can't and won't live without you. 
You are the reason I get up every day,
-you are what keeps me going.
You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. 
Don't you ever forget that,
no matter what happens...please baby, promise me that."

not really living

And then it hit you

Like a ton of bricks

Weighing you down

Knocking the breath

right out of your lungs

You are nothing.

You're not special

You're not talented

You're just an empty shell.

Breathing,

but not really living

Just fucking there.

Like a waste of fucking space. 

savage

Your insides are rotting

with loss of domination,

And oozing from your pores

as envy, hate and jealousy.

Control darling,

It's the only way

you can get them to stay.

Sink your teeth into their soul

and drain them like a savage.

Chain them up. Fuck the key. 

Then break them down

so they can't get away.

Because if they had a choice,

We both know,

they'd run like hell

and never look back.

other end

All I heard was your voice
unsober,
most honest,
replaying over and over
on the other end,

"How many nights can I drink before every sip tastes like you? How many times must I pass out before I’m just trying to fall asleep beside the memory of you? Damn, I miss you baby..."

dying on the inside

Accelerator to the floor 

heading for the red light

like it's a brick wall 

before dying at the crossroads 

to be reborn on the other side 

I'll meet you in hell love,

find your soul among the flames 

because your darkness speaks to mine 

in a voice only death can understand 

and you don't want to be lonely 

on the other side 

There's heaven hiding in the dead of night 

calling us out to dance beneath the stars 

and sell our souls for the glory of this moment 

before the light creeps back into our heads 

exposing the lies we can't leave behind 

We're all dying on the inside,

dying before we were born 

and now the accelerator's to the floor 

heading for the red light like it's a brick wall

playing chicken with what's round the corner 

'cause living doesn't make you feel alive 

telling yourself, it'll be better on the other side