misery mistress

self-destruction 

is your misery mistress,


your muse of a different caliber,


it’s like playing

Russian Roulette


with a modicum

of pharmacology.


you fear what you don’t understand,


and dabble where you don’t belong


to satisfy this gnawing beast
...

Desecrated

You trade in one addiction for another. 

the powder

for cigarettes 

the pills 

for booze. 

you swap your cynicism 

for religion 

and your addiction to hate 

for mindless sex...

Your soul is adulterated.

You are wasting away.

deprecated,

desecrated,

ravaged. 

you wreak havoc. 

self destruction,

your choice to make. 

looming

there is a ruckus
 amongst us,


and it shall be soon


when arms are raised


against the shadow that looms

silence

You ask me to tell you who you are.

I am not her. 

I'll leave you empty handed,

because I cannot be your cold,
dreary rain, and tell you to sleep through the beautiful sunrise.

I cannot help you find what you want,
but, if you follow the pockets of silence,
I have a feeling you will discover the unexpected.

decisions

You wear a mask for work,

another for family,

You have two for friends,

depending on which ones

are around at the moment...

Yet a different one

for out in social situations,

or public places,

You keep several in your

car as well.

As an estimate,

there must be around twelve.

No wonder we can never find ourselves. 

How would that be even possible,

when we can’t decide on what

face to show the world?

concrete

There will be nights

when you'll try to erase

my name from your lover's skin

with your tongue...

and days when you'll kiss

harder to drown out the failed punchline of my mouth.

But for what it’s worth love,

you know as well as I do,

that what is written

on the body once,

will never disappear...

fire

She radiated warmth

everywhere she went.

You could almost see the flames
slipping off her tongue when she spoke.

Embers glowed red hot beneath her fingernails,
as she singed each and every person she touched.

The fire within her burned so bright.

And you keep those burns I gave you as reminders...

Reminders of my touch,

reminders of my love,

...of my fire.

Force

When you try to put

two magnets together,

there is a force that

makes them repel.

And no matter how

hard you push, they will

never meet each other.

Certain relationships

are a lot like that.

Some continuously push harder

but they fail to see

how the one they love pulls away.

because sometimes,

there just isn’t enough love

between you

to hold you together

no matter how hard you try.

There will always be that

force keeping you apart.

rare

some people bring out 
the worst in you, 
others bring out the best.

and then there are those remarkably rare, 
addictive ones who just bring out the most
--of everything.

they make you feel so alive.

they would do anything for you,

no matter the consequences,

that you’d follow them straight

into hell, just to keep getting your fix.

disengaged

Sometimes in life,

you meet certain people

who will fuck your shit up.

We don’t know why,

some kind of cosmic

joke? Who knows. 

But it's terrifying

how little you will be able

to control yourself.

The bills will go unpaid.

Words will be thrown in faces.

And fists will splatter,

destroying your perfectly

imperfect homemade hell.

There will be flies in the kitchen,

and an empty plate of feelings

in the microwave waiting for you

when you walk in the door.

But there will always

be that smile flirting

with my lips...

Too much of anything

will grab you, break you

and swallow you whole.

Now may be a good time

to go on a long journey, love.

The stars think you need to clear your head. The stars think you need to run.

Run.

Run from your problems. Because we all know if you run from them, they always go away.

damage

They say trust is like

giving someone a gun

and praying they don't shoot.

But what they don't know,

is that I am the bullet

and you are a faulty weapon

with an all-too-easy trigger.

No matter how much

we think we complete

each other,

when we touch,

we are only

doing damage.

Because we are held

by a world that cannot

handle a loaded gun baby. 

And too many lives

have been wasted

by wanting

what will ruin

us in the end.

candle flames

We’re all dying.

Most of the time,

our brains make us

forget that fact.

But sometimes,

we’re reminded of this fact

in the strangest ways.

It’s like someone throwing cold water over us while we’re fast asleep in the sun- and waking up to our own mortality staring right at us.

We are so small and breakable.

We’re like candle flames...

One small breath,

and we become

the darkness.